Why Moderation Might Not Be for You

You've been setting limits and tracking your drinks. Maybe you've even completed challenges like Dry January or Sober October. Yet, there always seems to be a reason for "just one more," and your efforts to moderate feel like a constant struggle.

It might seem like you're the only one facing this, but you're not alone. As Annie Grace, author of This Naked Mind, notes, "Alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify NOT taking." In fact, a 2023 Gallup survey found that only 62% of U.S. adults drink, meaning 38% avoid alcohol entirely.

While people abstain for various reasons, many find that moderation simply doesn't work for them. Let's explore why some of us can't stop at just one drink—and why we might not want to.

1. Alcohol Is Addictive—and Some Crave It More

Alcohol is habit-forming by nature. It floods the brain with dopamine, the neurotransmitter that rewards us with pleasure and encourages repetition. This reward system evolved to reinforce healthy behaviors like eating and socializing, but substances like alcohol can hijack it.

While alcohol affects everyone's brain chemistry similarly, some people feel a stronger pull. Research shows that individual differences in dopamine-driven reward pathways lead to varying drinking patterns. In fact, scientists have identified a specific genetic marker linked to increased alcohol-seeking behavior.

Additionally, alcohol impairs decision-making by slowing the prefrontal cortex and boosting impulsive brain activity. This means moderation plans often go out the window after the first drink.

2. The Body "Remembers" Past Alcohol Misuse

Those who've misused alcohol in the past may struggle to moderate, even after years of abstinence. It might seem logical that a long break would reset tolerance, but many find they "can't have just one," leading to regret and potential relapse.

Science explains this: alcohol misuse can cause lasting changes in the brain's reward pathways. Even after periods of abstinence, the risk of slipping back into old habits remains high.

3. Moderation Can Be a Slippery Slope

Moderation can easily lead to dependence, even without a history of misuse. Addiction specialist Allen Carr compares it to sliding toward Niagara Falls: "Where drugs are concerned, 'It's all right in moderation' is like saying, 'By all means go over Niagara Falls, but don't go down more than 3 feet.'"

While some people manage to moderate successfully, alcohol use is inherently risky. Many decide it's not worth finding out which group they belong to.

4. Alcohol Isn't Good for Our Health

Alcohol impacts nearly every system in the body, and the World Health Organization states that no amount is safe. Key health effects include:

• Liver damage: Can lead to fatty liver, fibrosis, and cirrhosis.
• Blood pressure issues: Causes fluctuations and increases heart rate.
• Brain imbalance: Disrupts neurotransmitters and shrinks key brain areas.
• Immune problems: Weakens the immune system, making infections harder to fight.
• Sleep disruption: Interferes with restorative REM sleep, causing brain fog.
• Weight gain: Adds empty calories and slows metabolism.
• Muscle atrophy: Hinders muscle repair and promotes loss.
• Other organ damage: Affects the pancreas, gallbladder, and kidneys.

Understanding these effects may discourage attempts to moderate, especially if sticking to limits is challenging.

5. Moderation Can Be Draining

Moderation requires constant decision-making, leading to mental exhaustion. This "should I or shouldn't I" internal debate contributes to decision fatigue, which can trigger impulsive behavior and poor choices.

If you slip up—having two drinks instead of one—you might be tempted to abandon moderation entirely. In contrast, deciding on zero drinks frees mental space and reduces stress.

6. Moderation Might Not Fit a Reframed Mindset

Changing your relationship with alcohol often involves reframing your beliefs about it. For instance, if you once thought drinking helped you socialize, you might realize that authentic connections happen when people are fully present.

As Annie Grace explains, "When you completely change your mental perspective on alcohol, you begin to see the truth about drinking. When this happens, no willpower is required, and it becomes a joy not to drink." Once you shift your mindset, drinking any amount may no longer make sense.

If Moderation Isn't for You

If moderation isn't working or aligning with your goals, consider these steps:

• Do an honest assessment: Reflect on your relationship with alcohol without self-judgment.
• Approach with curiosity: View quitting as gaining benefits—better health, deeper relationships, and more savings—rather than deprivation.
• Start small: Try a sober challenge like Dry January. Many find that temporary breaks lead to lasting change.
• Find your people: Connect with supportive friends, family, and communities like Quitemate for encouragement.
• Celebrate your wins: Acknowledge every success, no matter how small.

Choosing Your Path

Listen to your body and mind to decide what's right for you. As Annie Grace advises, "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

Congratulations on taking control of your journey. We're cheering for you!