Should You Drink in Front of Your Kids?

You're out shopping when your child drops a toy and blurts out a curse word. People stare, and you rush back to the car, ready to scold them. But when you do, your child says, "But you say it too!"

You give the usual explanation—adults do things kids shouldn't—but it makes you wonder how much your actions influence your children. Drinking might come to mind. You may enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or a few beers during a game, but is it okay to drink in front of your kids? Let’s look at both sides of the issue.

Arguments in Favor

Some parents believe that responsible, moderate drinking in front of children can actually be beneficial. When alcohol isn't treated as a mystery, kids may be less tempted to experiment or rebel with it later. This transparency can help teach responsible drinking and reduce the "forbidden fruit" effect that sometimes leads to underage or binge drinking.

Children who see their parents drink moderately may also feel more comfortable discussing alcohol openly. This communication can help them learn about limits and feel safe asking for help if needed. However, there's a big difference between occasional drinking and nightly consumption.

Arguments Against

Other parents avoid drinking in front of their kids because they worry it normalizes alcohol use. Even though drinking is common in social settings, children are highly influenced by their parents' behavior. If kids see their parents drinking, they might not understand the risks involved and could develop unhealthy attitudes toward alcohol.

They might start drinking earlier or mimic negative habits. If parents drink heavily, children are at higher risk for future alcohol misuse. Let’s consider what happens when kids see their parents drunk.

Through a Child's Eyes: Seeing Parents Drunk

When adults are drunk, they act differently—sometimes saying or doing things they normally wouldn't. This can be confusing or scary for kids and shape their view of alcohol and family life. A child might think:

• "Drinking looks fun—I want to try it."
• "My parents don't care about me when they're drunk."
• "It's normal to get angry after drinking."
• "Alcohol can't be that bad if my parents drink it."
• "I'm embarrassed to bring friends home."
• "When I'm upset, I should drink."
• "I'm worried about my parents' health."

Irresponsible drinking around kids can clearly affect their beliefs and behaviors.

The Ripple Effect: How Parental Drinking Affects Kids

Alcohol changes how we think, feel, and act. As parents, drinking around children carries certain risks:

• Poor judgment: Alcohol impairs decision-making, which can affect child safety.
• Increased aggression: Drinking lowers inhibitions, making angry or stressed reactions more likely.
• Passing on bad habits: Kids of heavy drinkers are more likely to misuse alcohol themselves.
• Downplaying harm: Children may not realize how damaging alcohol can be if they see parents drinking regularly.
• Unstable home life: Problem drinking can lead to financial stress, emotional distance, and poor mental health for kids.

Tips for Teaching Kids About Alcohol

You can help your child build a healthy understanding of alcohol with these approaches:

• Set clear expectations: Explain why underage drinking is harmful—don’t just make rules.
• Build a strong relationship: Good communication helps kids listen and share openly.
• Lead by example: Show responsible drinking habits through your own actions.
• Encourage good friendships: Positive peer influence helps kids make better choices.
• Avoid judgment: Be understanding so your child feels safe coming to you.
• Be honest: Share your own experiences—even mistakes—to build trust and teach lessons.

Final Thoughts

Just as we try to watch our language and avoid arguments in front of our children, we might also think twice about drinking around them. While moderate drinking could offer teachable moments, going too far can affect kids’ health, safety, and future habits. By modeling positive behavior and offering clear guidance, we help our children build a foundation for well-being—starting with ourselves.