Does Alcohol Really Make You Confident?

Many of us know the story: you're shy in high school, then you get to college and after a few drinks at a dorm party, you suddenly become the life of the party. Dancing with strangers, playing beer pong, showing off your moves—you wake up the next morning with a headache, but you finally felt confident. But is this confidence real, or just an illusion?

The Truth About Liquid Courage

That "liquid courage" that makes you send embarrassing texts or overshare with your boss rarely serves us well in the long run. So how can we build genuine confidence without relying on alcohol? Let's explore some effective strategies.

Why Alcohol Feels Like Confidence

Alcohol creates a temporary feeling of confidence through two main mechanisms:

• GABA and Glutamate: Alcohol boosts GABA (an inhibitory neurotransmitter) and suppresses glutamate (an excitatory one), making us feel relaxed and uninhibited
• Dopamine Boost: Alcohol triggers dopamine release, creating that warm, "everyone is my friend" feeling

However, this effect is short-lived and often leads to next-day regret. True confidence and recklessness are very different things.

How to Build Real Confidence Without Alcohol

1. Quitemate Your Thoughts

Challenge the thought patterns that make you believe you need alcohol to be confident. Common cognitive distortions include:

• "People like me more when I'm outgoing—and alcohol gets me there"
• "I can't [dance/date/socialize] without alcohol"

Try approaching social situations as experiments—what's the worst that could happen? You might discover you're more capable than you thought.

2. Find Your People

Surround yourself with people who build you up rather than make you doubt yourself. Positive social interactions provide emotional support that's more lasting and authentic than anything alcohol can offer. If you need support, check out Quitemate's 24/7 Forum where people share similar experiences.

3. Get Curious

Instead of reaching for alcohol when you feel anxious, get curious about the feeling itself. What exactly are you experiencing? When does it ease? At social events, try learning something new about everyone you talk to—this shifts focus from your confidence level to genuine connection.

4. Find Your Passion

Discover activities that put you "in the zone"—whether it's writing, gardening, creating art, or anything that completely absorbs you. As you develop skills in your passion, your natural confidence grows. Plus, flow states naturally boost dopamine levels, reducing alcohol cravings.

5. Lean Into It and Talk It Out

Instead of hiding social anxiety, talk about it with trusted friends, family, or a therapist. You'll likely find others feel the same way. This shared understanding can be incredibly empowering and provide a genuine path forward.

The Bottom Line

Building confidence without alcohol means tapping into your natural strengths and passions. Approach this journey with curiosity—you're about to discover aspects of yourself that alcohol has been masking. Embrace the full range of emotions and experiences, and you'll find rewards far beyond what drinking could ever provide.